There is no delicate way to put it: flashbacks are just awful. Whether you've just started experiencing these upsetting and intrusive symptoms, or you've been fighting them for years, we know how challenging and exhaustive they can be. Thankfully, a wide variety of tools and skills exists to help you break free—each one highly customizable to your specific needs. That said, some of the very best options out there can take some time, and a good amount of practice, before they’re moulded into the go-to symptom management tool you pull on any time. Skills like imagery, containment, split-screen, and a few modulation tools are all incredibly valuable, but they can be quite advanced, and sometimes even turn survivors away from coping tools altogether if introduced too soon.

For those new in their healing, options that are very straightforward and uncomplicated can be their greatest lifeline. For those with a full workshop of tools, we know giant waves of new or stubborn trauma material can still bubble up and put even your best skills out of reach. Resources that are extremely easy to recall in a time of panic or crisis, as well as very simplified to perform, may be the only realistic tools at your disposal. We hope to be able to offer survivors in all stages of recovery that perfect flashback kit.

Before we get too far, let's first define what a flashback is! Whether you're a trauma survivor yourself, or a loved one/supporter who is trying to learn more, you may be surprised to learn there are different types of flashbacks:

So, what can we do about them?

We recognize that half the battle when you're struggling with any post-traumatic is just being able to remember that these tools even exist or are available to you. When you're terrified, feeling very young, or you aren't oriented to the present, it can be really hard to even recognize that you're having symptoms. It can all feel so real. Try to be compassionate with yourself (or your friend, family member, or client). Years upon years, sometimes decades, were spent responding to distress/trauma in the same exact way; it is very hard to retrain the brain to respond differently when you're only presented an opportunity to try every so often.

Additionally, flashbacks stem from a completely different section of our daily-functioning brain. It takes hard work to override that circuitry, and none of us are able to think very logically or critically when we’re flooded with fear or adrenaline. With practice, and by utilizing these tools as early in your symptoms as you can, you'll find they become more habitual and automatic – taking less conscious effort each time and instead becoming like muscle memory.

Let's get to it!

Grounding

Your absolute number one, first line of defense for any posttraumatic symptom is to become more grounded—or at least substantially more grounded than you are in that moment. Any improvement on that front is worthwhile, but we don’t need to aim for full, 100% clarity. If we aren't at least reasonable oriented to the present day, our body, or sense of self none of our other skills can be as effective. (You can learn more about what it means to be grounded, as well as have an entire list of 101 Grounding Techniques at your fingertips, right here in another article!)

We absolutely recognize it can feel impossible to practice grounding before you've put a memory away, especially if that memory is what's fueling your dissociation and making you ungrounded. But, if you're too heavily dissociated, and stuck in the past, you're only putting the memory away in the past - not in the here and now. And, it will likely continue to find you in this timeline. It is also difficult to reassure your mind that you are safer today and it no longer needs to send you Red Alert signals when you’re trapped back in time. As you start the grounding process, you'll find that some of the intensity of the trauma material backs down, freeing you up to use other skills you may have (i.e. containment, modulation, imagery, etc). That will then take things down another notch, allowing you to get even more grounded, and so on. A positive feedback loop.

What are some of the best, most-easily accessible grounding tools?:

Open your eyes. Uncover your ears. Make as many senses available as you can!
Look around. Try to label 5 things you can see, 5 things of a single color, 5 things of one shape.
Listen. What do you hear? Is it close or far? Loud or soft? Pleasant or grating? Are there annoying or triggering things about the environment you can change or move away from?
Open up your body, feet on the floor. If you're curled into a ball, or have your feet tucked up on the chair, try to put them on the floor and press your feet firmly into the ground. Become rooted to the space you’re in (no longer lifted or untethered from the world, just like your currently dissociative mind). Especially try to free yourself of those more childlike, fear-based positions that continue to alert to your brain that you’re in active danger. We know they feel self-soothing, but they may be sending physiologic cues that are the exact opposite message your mind may need in the moment. You may be able to return to this position later for comfort after you’ve gotten more confidently in control of these memories.
De-trance. If you are rocking, tapping, swaying a limb, clicking, or engaging in any other rhythmic, trancing motion, try to start slowing it to a pause or at least make sure it’s no longer occurring in a pattern. Some of these actions may be part of something sensorily grounding for you, or a positive stim common in autism and or related conditions; if that's the case, just try to diversify any monotonous, predictable traits that can lull us deeper into those trance-y spaces.
Sit upright. If you are slouching deep in your seat, or especially laying down on your bed, try to slowly sit up - vertebrae by vertebrae. Lying prone can be very disorienting and triggering for many.
Orient. Mentally or physically remind yourself of the date, your age, where you are, and that you're safe now. If you aren’t in a safe environment, or there are physical pains that you’re contending with in the present, acknowledge and validate that to yourself and try to take inventory of what things you can change. Can you relocate? Do you need a support person? Do you need medications for physical pain?
Movement. If you feel frozen and unable to move, start by just trying to wiggle your toes or finger tips. Slowly work up the body, little by little, joint by joint, until you regain function and control of your body again. This may take awhile if you’re particularly locked in. That’s okay, just go at your body’s safest pace. In your time, control, and direction. Doing so in this manner is a powerful message to your brain that you have agency of your body and mind today.
Smell. Inhale strong fragrances (they don't even have to be pleasant!). Coffee, candles, lemon, lotions, the kitty litter, it doesn’t matter! Just awaken yourself to what’s before you.
Taste. Chew gum, eat mints, or suck on sours. Eat a meal or snack. Drink a very cold or warm beverage. Wake up those senses and pull yourself strongly into today.
Touch. Run your fingers over unique textures within reach. Your clothes, the furniture, a zipper, a pet, a grounding stone, or fidget item. Compare them to each other. Which do you like and which are displeasing? Are they cold or warm? Are there others in reach you’d rather be touching.

There are many, many other grounding tools, as well as a more detailed explanation as to why and how they can be helpful in our aforementioned article. For now, we'll move on to our next step to not be redundant! Our seasoned pros will have long been familiar with these and we want to get them aid, too!

Self-Talk

Our inner monologue is far more important and powerful than we tend to give it credit. Self-talk during a flashback can be part of your grounding or used to keep you calm and steady while you employ other techniques. It can be hard to access grounding skills (or other tools) if you’re too panicked and unable to discern what's even happening to you or who you are. Self-talk can be a lifeline that allows everything else to come into focus.

Try saying to yourself phrases like:

"This is a flashback. It is just a flashback; it is not real. This is not happening right now, even though it feels real."
"I am safe now. No one is presently harming me. There is no external threat to my safety in this moment." [If you have credible reason to believe that is untrue, definitely skip this one.]
"I am an adult now. My name is ______. I am ____ years old. It is 20__."
"This will not last forever. I have the power to make this symptom go away. I am in control."
"I am competent. I am able. I have done this before."
"It's important that I get grounded. Dissociating can feel safer, but I've learned it puts me and others at risk. I can do this."
"I can ask for help. I am worthy of aid, even if that's hard to believe right now."
"This is temporary. I can feel it getting easier already. I will be okay."
“I am in control. I get to decide when and how this leaves. I have the power now.”

Find a mantra or phrase that feels right to you, something you know you'll remember when it's time. Talk yourself through the process. It is a healthy practice, strengthens your connection to reality, and reminds you of the power you have today that you didn’t before.

Separating Past from Present

Separating past from present can work on many levels as a combination of self-talk, grounding, and reality-testing. It's also a tool outsiders or loved ones can help you with, too! No longer all up to you! During a flashback, it's very easy to become disoriented from the current time or place. You may feel like you're all the way back in the 80's, think you're a small child, or believe you’re in a completely different environment than you truly are. Taking the time to label all that’s different now from the past you’re currently re-living can help tease apart the lack of safety you feel from the true security of your present environment.

You can do this practice in your mind, out loud, in writing, or some other creative way that feels right to you. Some examples:

"It is 20__, not [date/timeframe of the flashback]"
*look at body* "These are adult hands and feet. I am taller now." Observe any other physical changes like tattoos, body modifications, health changes, wrinkles, or grey hairs.
"There were no smartphones back then. TVs didn't look like this. I didn't have a laptop or desktop computer like this." Notice any other anachronisms or things that couldn’t have existed at the time of the memory.
"I live on my own now. This is my house/apartment. I can drive now. I have children/a spouse/a partner now. These are my car keys. This is my drivers’ license/ID." Notice all the traits of living a very adult life—one that has control, power, and say-so that young you didn’t.
“I am currently outside. That happened inside.” [Or vice versa.] “It was nighttime then, but it’s noon now.” Name several other environmental differences or alterations in the room, time, day, furniture, clothes, etc.
"I have a voice. Before I would have been unsafe or too scared to even make a sound." Then, use your voice in any form to prove to yourself it's safe to do so. Hum, moan, speak, sing. It all has value!
"I am a strong, competent adult now; I am no longer a helpless child. I have options to ensure my own safety, as well as the safety of others. I employ those options."
Label any changes about your perpetrators(s) or elements of the trauma, if applicable: their current age, location, relationship to you, if they have passed, etc. If a building was involved, is it still there? A new business, homeowner, renovation?
Label any other major life changes you’ve had: geographic locations, professions, people you know now that you didn't back then, folks who may have passed on (particularly if they caused you pain - we don’t want to bring up healthy grief or reminders of losses too painful in the middle of struggle), other appearance changes, physical limitations or since-acquired illness/disability (or recovery from!), pets you now have, etc.
List (or listen to) current popular music, movies, entertainment you enjoy now. Remind yourself these things did not exist back then.
Acknowledge the positive supports you have in your life now: new friends, a therapist, a partner, pets, family members, kids, etc.

Internal Communication

While internal communication is a tool most beneficial to alters of a DID/OSDD system, acknowledging and working with the different parts within C-PTSD or PTSD survivors’ minds can also have a profound impact. This skill is a bit of a step up – a little less “introductory-level” than the others we’ve covered, however! It belongs in a rescue guide because failing to “ask inside” has the potential to render all your other symptom management tools ineffective. So, let’s prevent that!

It may come as a surprise to some, but alters in DID/OSDD systems (as well as C-PTSD/PTSD’s less-differentiated parts) are capable of sending flashbacks to the front of the mind—intentionally or by accident. In either instance, they may actually not be doing so with malicious or hurtful intent. They may be, counterintuitively, sent out of a desire to protect the system or communicate another urgent need. This may look like: handing you pieces of a memory they feel are important for you to know now, feel, or share with someone; showing you what they’ve been struggling with internally, alone; trying to remind you of threats that were once made to you, consequences for speaking, or who you need to avoid today in order to stay safe; incapacitating you to get out of an activity you’re doing that they don’t want to; ‘asking for help’ by showing you material they’re confused about, are scared may continue, or don’t realize has stopped; and so many other possibilities. Since many parts are extremely young, it may be the only way they know how. …or they’re incapable of understanding what it’s costing you.

In any of these instances, the end result remains about the same: traditional symptom management may just exhaust you and feel futile. So, how can we learn more about what’s going on inside and determine if these flashbacks are coming from another part? By pausing to ask inside.

If you already have some well-established communication between alters/parts of self, you can ask the following questions more directly - through writing/journaling, internal thought sharing, or meeting inside the mind to chat. But, if you aren't there yet, or if you don't have more differentiated alters at all, you can pause and direct these thoughts back into your mind to see what bubbles up. For those who are just starting to establish communication across their mind, opening that line during a flashback can surprisingly lead to the first successful connection.

Here are some questions and thoughts you can direct internally. (Note: try to then open yourself up emotionally to receive a response, as well as generate as much internal quiet as you can manage so that you can catch the feedback. This can be particularly difficult during symptoms, but all the more reason to try. That said, if someone is sending them, or they’re “leaking” through, they usually want you to know why.)

"Is there a reason I'm being shown this flashback right now? Is someone sending this to me?"
"What are you trying to communicate by making me relive these images/feelings/physical pain?"
"Is someone else in a flashback but came too close to the front of the mind? Can we do a role call and see that everyone is accounted for, grounded, and present?"
"Are you trying to make me feel as unsafe as YOU feel right now about something else in our life?" “Can you share with me what that is? I might be able to accommodate that, or explain why it’s not a threat.”
"Is anyone trying to scare me back into silence?" "Their way of reminding me we aren't supposed to talk or tell anyone?" “Can we talk to each other about that instead?”
"Are you trying to incapacitate me? ...make it so that I can't go to work/go out with a friend/accomplish x task/leave the house/see x person/etc?" "Why are you afraid of me doing that?"
"Did something trigger you that I don't know about? Did you see/hear/feel something really familiar that I didn't notice?"
"Are you feeling ignored? ..like I don't care? ..like I'm not listening to you or taking your feelings into consideration? Are there other ways you could get my attention that don't involve re-traumatizing me? Were you aware this has negative consequences?
"Are you oriented to the present? I know that it's 20__, but do you? How can we work on getting grounded together? Do you need to look through my eyes or feel in the body that we are safe and not in danger right now?"
"Did someone else inside order you to share this memory with me? If so, you can say so without revealing yourself to me. I want to talk to them, not you; you're not in trouble."
"Am I being punished for something? Can it be shared with me what I did ‘wrong’ or which rules I broke without this flashback? I can't have a conversation with you about it or make amends if I can't think straight."

There are many ways to appeal to parts inside to get to the root of why a flashback may have been sent your way. Many aspects of the mind may still be operating under the same conditions they were in at the height of you trauma, and using these symptoms feels like a protective defensive to meets everyone’s needs – maladaptive as that may be. Appealing internally may strike a chord and enlighten you (and them!) as to what the real issue is. The answer may just "click" the moment you ask, even if you can't hear a direct/“audible” reply. Once some dialogue or transfer of knowledge has begun, you will be better able to triage your needs from there. Tackle the actual issue underneath, then put away any persistent elements of the flashback. Difficult and unfair as it may seem in the meantime, working through these grueling issues together - collaboratively and supportively - can turn out to be the most unifying, team-building exercises you’ll ever do.

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We sincerely hope these four basic, foundational tools will help you find some relief and gain some necessary distance from your flashbacks—no matter what stage you're at in your healing. Once armed with a bit more stability and a solid framework from which to better understand your symptoms, you can then move on to more detailed, and even more effective, skills with confidence! We will continue to explore the many out there and help you build out a robust toolkit in the fight against flashbacks. So, stay tuned!

Please don't hesitate to share some of your go-to strategies for flashbacks below and consider bookmarking this page for quicker, more direct access should you need it in the midst of struggle!

4 Tools to Cope with Flashbacks

So, what can we do about them?

Grounding

Self-Talk

Separating Past from Present

Internal Communication

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