You Are - And Were - Innocent

Bringing you a post here today from instagram because it's important. 

  Far, far too often, when trauma survivors try to tell someone what happened to them, what they hear in response can range from: being flat out denied, their story manipulated or twisted around to a completely different version of events; having their integrity questioned, their feelings invalidated; being victim-blamed, shamed, badgered for more details, one-upped by someone else's trauma, unacknowledged entirely -- a laundry list of awful, painful responses. If the survivor tried to tell someone when they were a child, while it was still happening, any of these responses can shut them down for the rest of their lives. ..even rewrite how they ever view their trauma and pain. This is true at any stage of life, really. Despite this, too often these are the awful things survivors hear after baring their most vulnerable self to someone.

  But writing.. Writing gives you an outlet to state your truth. To be clear about what YOU KNOW happened. To define your reality, no one else's. To speak strongly about what you know is real, and serious, and important, and valid, and worthy of someone's attention and compassion. You can own your feelings and validate them to yourself as well as the hurt pieces of your heart and mind. You also have the freedom to be angry and bitter and jealous. In writing, it's SAFE to be honest about the unfairness you feel. To admit you feel robbed. To speak against those who betrayed, ignored, or invalidated you. You KNOW what is true. And when you can be fervent in that, you can start to build yourself up to know your story is important. Your pain is important. Your growth and healing are important.

  Most of all? Getting a chance to be clear about what took place, without anyone else questioning, manipulating or blaming you - you get a chance at objectivity. To see this was in no way EVER your fault. You were a child, they were the adult. Even if a child ASKS to be hurt, it is ALWAYS the adult's responsibility to say no. You are, and you were, innocent. Period.

  We are with you.